{"product_id":"the-goat-who-made-a-morning-routine","title":"The Goat Who Made a Morning Routine - Issue #1","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe Goat Who Started A Morning Routine — Issue #1\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eDigital Download | 10-Page Illustrated Adult Humour Story\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eMeet Gerald.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eA goat who woke up before sunrise once and immediately became the most unbearable self-improvement creature on earth.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe Goat Who Started A Morning Routine\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e is a rude, dry, illustrated mini story about discipline, burnout, cold plunges, journaling, fake enlightenment, and the tragic belief that waking up early can fix your entire personality.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIt’s funny, sweary, slightly savage, and somehow has an actual point underneath all the goat-based nonsense.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003ePerfect for anyone who has ever bought a water bottle, said “new me,” and then mentally collapsed before 9:14am.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWhat’s included:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eA \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e10-page illustrated PDF story\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e featuring Gerald the goat\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIssue #1\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e front cover\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAdult humour and dry self-help parody\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eInstant digital download\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eDesigned for reading, printing, gifting, or quietly judging yourself with\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003ePlease note:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThis is a \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003edigital product only\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eNo physical item will be shipped.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eBest suited for adults due to swearing and brutally honest humour.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eFile type:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003ePDF digital download\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003ePerfect for:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eFans of sarcastic animal humour\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003ePeople who hate toxic productivity\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSelf-help survivors\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eGoat lovers with emotional damage\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAnyone who has ever tried to “win the morning” and lost by breakfast\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eDownload it. Read it. Question your routine. Touch some grass.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Horns \u0026 Brims","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":57395754762584,"sku":null,"price":0.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0973\/4170\/2488\/files\/IMG-8925.png?v=1780076350","url":"https:\/\/hornsandbrims.com\/products\/the-goat-who-made-a-morning-routine","provider":"Horns \u0026 Brims","version":"1.0","type":"link"}